|
Your Horoscopes
What do the stars say for you. Lets find out with our new astrologer, celebrity chef and all round weird twat Ainsley Harriot
Cancer - Ooh ladies and gentlemen. What do we have ere then.
My My ain't you naughty. I can see you like a nice roast duck in pepper sauce.. mmm, oh and you will have a car crash and be disfigured. now now nice indeed mmmm
Virgo - Red tomatoes, red tomatoes oooh percy pepper ain't you so rude virgo. What can I see in my pan....certain fiery death. Now now be nice..mmmm ladies and gentlemen, what are they like!
Capricorn - Susie salt told me last night that you've been bad.. tut tut and what are you like. Look am I crazy or am I crazy! you too will die painfully in a caravaning accident. bless my dear little cotton socks.. susie salt behave mmm
Libra - MANGE TOUT MANGE TOUT MANGE TOUT, green peppers i hear you cry? no you will die falling down the stairs. cha cha cha lets dance, oh am i funny or am I FUNNY!!!
Gemini - Slap my head and call me bob, mmm lets get youir whisks and whisk with ainsley. whisk whisk whisk, whisk whsik whisk., tommorow you will be savagely beaten by a thug wearing red. RED TOMATOES, percy pepper. what are you like!
Taurus - Roast beef drizzled with honey. mmmm red tomatoes. DIE YOU INSOLENT FOOL. Lets meet the red tomatoes team
Aries - Carve your own leg of and eat it bitch. mmmm had you going there didn't I. mmm Percy pepper told me to say that.. and the pixies
Leo - PERCY PEPPER! WHAT ARE YOU LIKE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. tommorow you will drown in a bucket of milk. semi skimmed.
Scorpio - Beat the chicken, tenderise. SALSA, CHACHACHA one two three. DO AS I DO FOOL. YOU WILL DIE PAINFULLY MARINADED
Sagittarius - WHAT ARE WE LIKE. Get you aprons on and join me in the kitchen.. then cook at gas mark 7 for 2 hours then sit in it..
Aquarius - red tomatoes and green peppers what are you like. oh dear oh dear. susie salt will have to eat you now.
Pisces - drown like pixies in the meadow.. oooooh pretty colours oooh percy pepper on my shoulder singing the blues. I want to beat you and cook you.. Coz I'M AINSLEY AND I'M MAD!
|
